Before we get to the Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur, I wanted to let you know how excited we are here at FatFighterTV to announce our new partnership with Does This Blog Make us Look Fat? - the hilariously clever adventures of Kiki and Greta as they try to lose weight. You can’t help but love these two wacky chicks! And since FFTV is all about fun when there’s not something serious happening in the news… and DTBMULF likes to have fun with the news, it’s the perfect fit really. Look for a sampling of DTBMULF here every week. And be sure to check out their blog every day. Do it. Now on to that letter…
Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur - By Kiki
Feel free to print the letter below and circle the items that apply to your workplace!
Dear (co-worker/supervisor/boss/assistant),
I am sure you’ve noticed that I have (struggled with weight my whole life/just had a baby/am retaining water for many people/drink too many beers). Recently I have begun to (crash diet/count calories/reduce carbs/adopt a healthy lifestyle) in attempt to (lose a few pounds/fit into my old prom dress/become smoking hot/lower my risk of a massive heart attack).
I have noticed that you enjoy (baking/bringing in band candy/celebrating even those most minuscule holidays). I would appreciate if you would stop putting treats (on my desk/next to my cubicle/on my computer monitor/in my face). You certainly have every right to bring these items to work but please put them in the break room. This way I can avoid the temptation and you can continue to enjoy bringing in treats.
In addition, after I decline your food items please desist from announcing loudly to the (entire office/free world) that (one piece won’t hurt/I am on another crazy diet/you knew I couldn’t resist).
Your actions when I decline your food indicate that you (are jealous of my success/want me to continue to ignore my health/are a jackbag).
I enjoy our working relationship and hope that it continues productively, however if you persist in sabotaging my efforts I will get a safety pin and poke the voodoo doll of you I keep in my (purse/briefcase) in its (butt/eye/big toe). This shouldn’t surprise you as you always knew I couldn’t resist.
Warmly,
The Dieter
Go here to get a printable version of Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur
photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/timpatterson/
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Tags: calories, diet, fun, work
