
How to talk to your kids about obesity can be a tricky balance. You don’t want your children’s weight to take its toll on their health. But talking to them about obesity can be a touchy subject. You have to know what to say… and what not to say.
No forbidden foods
You may have good intentions when you tell your kids not to eat certain foods – like maybe something that’s loaded with fat and calories. But psychologist, Dr. Stacey of Every Woman has an Eating Disorder, says telling them they can’t eat something could backfire.
“Two things can happen,” she explains. “They think fat is bad or carbs are bad so they just stop eating them or really restrict them. Then you have someone who could potentially become anorexic. Or if they feel deprived either physiologically or psychologically, there’s a tendency to compensate and overeat or binge eat.”
Health versus weight
So how should you talk to kids about obesity? Dr. Stacey says it’s critical to take the emphasis off of weight and instead focus on how healthy eating and healthy exercise are good for your body.
“If we focus on what a healthy diet can do for you, for your body, instead of how it’s going to make you look, and focus on how exercise is good for you rather than how it’s going to make you look, it’s a movement in the right direction,” she says.
Body image expert, Leslie Goldman of Never Say Diet, agrees. She says a good place to teach kids about healthy foods is at the grocery store.
“If they point to something on the shelf, say, ‘What does this have that’s good for us? How can this make you stronger? Does it have calcium in it? Does it have fruits and vegetables? Maybe something like this would be a better choice.’ Make it part of the learning experience,” she explains. “That way they still have a role in picking it but you’re not saying, ‘No, that’s too fattening.”
It’s all in the language
It may seem strange, but if you have a child who is overweight, both experts stress, don’t even mention weight. So, what should you say?
“Let’s go for a walk today. It feels good to exercise. It’s good for our bodies,” suggests Dr. Stacey,
Goldman adds, “Encourage them to get involved in physical activities that will help them move. But never say to them, ‘You’re heavy’ or ‘You’re fat.’ That could just destroy a child.”
Watch your words
We’ve stressed before how parents are role models when it comes to diet and exercise. And the same goes for how you talk about yourself and food when you’re around your kids.
Goldman, says, “If you’re turning around in the mirror looking at yourself from behind saying, ‘Oh my God – my butt is so huge’ or ‘I hate my thighs’ or you’re at the restaurant and you say ‘Oh I can’t get the fettucine, it’s so fattening’, your kids are going to pick up on that.”
So, watch what you say. Use the right words to get your kids to eat right and exercise. Their healthy weight is sure to follow.
Tags: Dr. Stacey, eating disorders, Food & Nutrition, kids, Leslie Goldman, obesity, Obesity Epidemic, overweight, parents



fab job, as always. Thanks for interviewing me!
I have a 15 year old daughter and an 11 year old daughter. I am ALWAYS looking for tactful, healthy ways to get a message across when it come to food! Love the tips! A fantastic post!
Mark – Glad the tips are helpful! I definitely learned a lot from these two interviews!
This is a fantastic post…it is really useful, novel information. Good job!
hb
I don’t care what they say. If parents can’t set an example with weight, smoking, drinking, seat belts, etc, forgetaboutit!
I couldn’t agree more with role parents as role models. Exercise with your kids, hike, encourage participation in sports, have healthy foods at home to eat.
Thanks
[...] Fat Fighter TV, February, 2009: http://fatfightertv.com/blog/2009/02/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-obesity/ [...]
(The following comment from HawkeyeGirl is from this same post when it appeared on Yahoo Shine. I wanted to share it because it really touched me.)
This is an extremely difficult topic to broach. I was maybe 10lbs overweight in high school, and both of my parents were obese. Once I went to visit my Grandmother for an afternoon, and she finally exploded, “God, do you EVER stop eating?!” I was so devastated that my favorite Grandmother (a professional baker with a house full of cookies, cakes and pastries, no less) would scream such a thing at me, that I DID stop eating-for about four years.
Now I’m 30 years old with a good career and lots of friends, and I managed to conquer the worst of my food demons after being hospitalized with anorexia. I’m still pretty thin and work out at the gym like crazy every day, but I refuse to weigh myself or count calories anymore.
I know my Grandmother didn’t intend to send me spiraling into anorexia, but I can’t forget that comment, either. I still have issues with romantic relationships-I’m terrified that in an intimate moment, a boyfriend might touch a spot of my body that has a bit of fat on it and be repulsed by me. I know it’s not rational (or even true!) but that’s what I deal with psychologically.
Anyway, the moral of my twisted life is that HOW you say something is very important to kids. Trust me, a teen knows that they are overweight, they need encouragement and motivation, not accusations that trigger deep-seeded insecurities to cut loose.
Dr. J and Dr. Hubbard – Yes, parents definitely have to set an example. It takes both the right words and healthy actions.
We have about 1 week left until our first (a girl!) is due and my wife and I hope to be good examples of health. You’re right on… takes both right words and healthy actions. Thanks!
How exciting, Blake! Congrats in advance!
Great post. I have two girls (almost 15 who is 5′5″ and 97 naturally thin lbs and a sweet and perfect 6 year old). I’ll be 49 next month and struggle with a pretty severe purging disorder that seems lately to be morphing into just not eating since I’m sick (no pun intended) of purging. Mid 40s onset for heaven’s sake. Anyway, my beautiful and brilliant daughter confronted me last year and has actually been helpful to me though THAT IS NOT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. She is smart enough NOT to do what I do but what about my 6 year old. She is happily oblivious. I NEVER call myself fat or talk about fat or anything associated to it. We just try to eat as healthy as possible. But I’m so scared about when she finds me out, too. Terrified. And babbling. Sorry.
Sorry for what you are going through, Gayle. I hope you are getting the help you need.
It was much easier for me to talk to my daughter about obesity after we sat down and read about the health problems that it can cause. Most of my family is considered obese and we are desperately working on our weight problem.. but awareness is the first step!
-Sylvia
Sylvie – Yes, the health problems can be very serious. Glad you are now aware and are doing something about it. Thanks for stopping by FFTV.